Jessica Day is a young woman who, after discovering her long-term boyfriend, Spencer, is cheating on her, moves into a loft apartment with three male roommates - prickly bartender Nick, womanizer Schmidt and intense personal trainer Coach. The guys try to help Jess get back on her feet and into the dating world.
- Zooey Deschanel as Jess Day
- Jake Johnson as Nick Miller
- Max Greenfield as Schmidt
- Damon Wayans Jr. as Coach
- Hannah Simone as Cece Parekh
- Ian Wolterstorff as Spencer
- Ashton Swinford as Rochelle
- David Neher as Benjamin
- Jack Yang as Peter
- Andy Scott Harris as Groaning Boy
- Hayley Marie Norman as Hot Waitress
- Lauren Dair Owens as Young Jess
- Steve Bannos as Cab Driver
- Porter Kelly as Woman on Bike
- Joey Wagner Luthman as Walter
Jess rants to her future roomates about how women in horror movies are so stupid. She says that they should call the police but by that time it's to late. Jess then says that story is a little like that. Jess is in a cab talking to Cece on the phone. Jess tells Cece that she is going to walk in and drop her clothes for Spencer. She says that Spencer fanticises about her being stripper with a heart of gold. Cece asks Jess what her stripper name is. Jess says "Rebecca Johnson". Cece asks her if she is serious. Jess then renames her stripper persona to "Two-Boobs Johnson". Cece congratulates her on being naked in the back of a cab. Jess arrives home and drops her clothes. Spencer asks what she is doing there. Jess grabs a pillow and does "sexy things" with it. She knocks over a plant and begins to sing. A woman walks out. Jess turns around and finds out that Spencer is cheating on her.
Jess is finished telling her story. She asks what their question was, again. Nick responds, "Do you have any pets?". Jess then tells them that when she saw their add on craigslist, she thought they were women. Nick and Coach look at Schmidt. He laughs and takes off his shirt. He is forced to place a dollar in the "Douchebag Jar". Jess compliments the apartment. Nick has a flashback of his break-up with Caroline. Jess says that she wants to live there. Nick says that they have to ask some more questions. Jess then says that she was tired of living with her super model friend Cece, saying all of her friends were models. Schmidt takes the guys and convinces them to let Jess live with them.
Jess cries while watching Dirty Dancing. The guys blame Schmidt. Jess talks to her mother on the phone, but tells her that she has to go, but not before telling her that she was not watching Dirty Dancing. She hangs up. Schmidt comes over and cuts off the T.V. He tells her that she needs to go on a rebound. Jess isn't sure that she is ready. Schmidt tells her that she is and that he will help her through it, saying that he will be her guide. Jess asks if he will be anything like Gandalf. Schmidt tells her to get rid of the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a cave. Jess says that Sméagol can find them because he lives in a cave. Schmidt has asked Nick to call his ex-girlfriend to get into a party. Nick declines. Schmidt tells him that he has no idea what he is going through. Nick tells him no. Schmidt tells him about a charity. Nick doesn't care. Schmidt tells him to call Caroline, saying that he calls her whenever she is drunk.
Jess is curling her hair. Coach walks in and drops his basketball. He tells her that he isn't very good at talking to women, and asks if he can practice on her. Coach has a flashback of him yelling at a woman. The woman was crying, but Coach claimed that he was trying to help her. Jess agrees to help him with woman. He asks her if she likes shopping. Jess says yes, and Coach begins to yell at her. Jess gives him some tips and they head out to the bar, only after being told that her hair was on fire.
The group finally arrives at the restaraunt. They all order al alchoholic beverage. Jess grabs a pink wine and says she feels "sluttty". She has a "cute guy alert" and fixed her glasses. Schmidt tells her that she must forget about Spencer and do some very bad things. Jess asks how bad. Schmidt tells her "real bad". Jess thinks he means a make-out session. Jess shows an array of awkward smiles, until Schmidt finally agrees to let her go. Jess goes over to the cute guy and stands akwardly next to him. Coach and Schmidt cheer her on. Shmidt's friends come over and talk to him about a party. They leave and Nick asks why he hangs out with them. Schmidt begs Nick to call Caroline in order to get to the party, but he refuses. Jess tells Nick how she has had problems to be likeable to people since she was a kid. "Look at us, couple of losers, we both got dumped" says Jess. Nick insists he's fine about it but Jess mentions him that he has to show his feelings to not end up being an old man full of regret. Nick jokes sarcastically about being more like Jess and sing all the time. Right after, one of Schmidt friends, Peter, aproaches Jess and they start to chat, as Nick grabs his cellphone to text Caroline...
- Damon Wayans Jr. had to be written out after Happy Endings, in which Wayans was a lead, was renewed for a second season.
- It is revealed that Jess watches Dirty Dancing when she is upset.
- When Coach asks Jess on tips for talking to women, the curling iron that Jess has disappears for a brief moment when she tells him to lower his voice
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Pilot · Kryptonite · Wedding · Naked · Cece Crashes · Thanksgiving · Bells · Bad in Bed · The 23rd · The Story of the 50 · Jess & Julia · The Landlord · Valentine's Day · Bully · Injured · Control · Fancyman (Part 1) · Fancyman (Part 2) · Secrets · Normal · Kids · Tomatoes · Backslide · See Ya