"Kryptonite" is the 2nd episode of the first season of New Girl. It aired on September 27, 2011 as the second episode overall.


Nick and Schmidt help Jess get her stuff out of her ex-boyfriend's apartment after she breaks their TV and they need a new one. Jess also meets her new roommate Winston, who returns and attempts to get his old room back from Schmidt.





Jess waddles by Schmidt's room with a science project, when Schmidt calls out to her asking for her help on something. Jess stops and he asks her whether she considers him a sexy person and she says that she can't answer that. He adds that he is bringing a woman back to the loft for sex and Jess avoids the question by saying she has to hurry to school as it is astronomy day and she has to dress up as Gallileo. He retorts that he knows that but asks her as a lady where in the room does he look the sexiest. He then proceeds to show three different positions: one in the armchair, legs crossed holding his head, one sitting on the arm of the armchair maybe reading a book or something and one lying sideways on the bed. Whilst he is doing this Jess is watching, astounded. Nick then walks in asking what is going on and Jess replies that Schmidtt wants to know where in his room he looks the sexiest. Nick mentions that it is a big room and asks Schmidtt to show him the choices so he proceeds to do them again. Nick says that it is a lot of options and asks if Schmidtt could show the choices again, really fast. Nick and Jess start to make a joke out of it by asking him to keep repeating it until Schmidt realises that they were teasing him.

Jess tells Nick that she is so excited to meet Winston and is preparing him breakfast. Nick discourages her saying that he is hung over due to extreme partying the night before and that they should just let him sleep. Jess exclaims that she is no longer the 'new kid' she's just 'one of the guys'. Nick say that she is wrong as Winston used to live in the loft before Coach did. Coach told Jess that Winston and Coach used to play basket ball together at college then Winston went pro. Schmidtt buts in telling her Winston went pro in Latvia so it is a big difference. Also that the team logo is a single fig. Jess says that Schimdt's jealousy is cute but Schmidtt denies being jealous and then threatens to 'flex his base'. Whilst Nick is telling Schmidtt to put his shirt back on Jess sneaks towards Winston's bedroom door with the breakfast tray. Jess puts the tray down and Winston wakes up wanting to know who she is. Jess starts singing whilst Winston is freaking out and shouting about it.

Jess is talking about Winston being hung over to Nick in the bathroom when Winston walks in and Jess goes over and apologizes. Then she asks him if he has a tank top she could borrow as he looks about her size because she broke up with her boyfriend so she is low on clothes. Schmidtt says she can borrow something out of the lost and found box he keeps full of belongings previous sexual partners have left behind. Sizes 0 through 10. Winston asks Nick what he has done to him. Schmidtt reminices about the belongings and what happened with the people who left them behind. He asks Jess if Winston has mentioned anything about the room and Jess says that she hasn't.

Nick tells Winston that Schmidt will never give Winston his room back but Winston replies that it IS Schmidt and that there is a saying that he made up and claims to come from Latvia. Jess walks in asking what they think and Nick tells her that she needs to go to Spencer's and get her stuff back. Schmidtt then gives her the basketball and she bouces it and smashes the television. They are all having a go at her that they need a television and Jess says she has one at Spencer's. They tell her to go and get but Jess claims she can't talk to him since he cheated on her and Schmidtt tries to comfort Jess and the guys just tell her to get the TV. She says she will do it.

Jess is sitting on a park bench when Spencer meets her and they say hello. We jump to the guys eating in a cafe talking top dogs and whether all top dogs need the biggest room because they are trying to trick him into giving up the big room. We then jump back to Jess and Spencer talking about Rochelle the woman Spencer cheated on Jess with. Jess puts her foot down telling Spencer that she needs her stuff back. He avoids her questions and persuades Jess to drive him and Rochelle to the airport. They start singing Bust A Move. Jess is in a pawn shop trying to buy a TV. She tries to bargain with the owner but he sticks to his price of $550. On her way she tries to steal the TV and fails.

Nick is watching TV on his phone and Schmidtt asks Nick if he thinks he is top dog then he shows him his new thumb ring. Schmidt says he feels terrible for Winston when Cece and Jess walk in. Jess apologizes for not getting the TV and Schmidt and Nick ask what happened. Cece has a go at the guys for telling Jess to call Spencer saying it is not their job. Jess says that she gave Spencer a ride to the airport for his new girlfriend and she has to pick her up next Sunday. Nick has a go at Jess and says that Spencer is her kyrptonite and that she has to stand up to him. Nick asks Jess to get angry by punching a cushion and pretending it is Spencer's face. She gets angry and say she is gonna get her stuff and that the guys and Cece need to with her. Jess tries to pull up in front of Spencer's house but continuously keeps driving off. Finally she manages to stop and tries to go in but Spencer starts hugging her. She hugs him back until she noticed that even though she told him to water the plants, he didn't. She gets really mad and smahes the plant pot and runs inside the house to get her stuff.

After a minute, Jess walks out of the house with all her clothes and the TV, when she notices that Spencer is wearing her shirt and she drops the TV. Cece and the guys come running out of the car to her aid while Jess demands her Tee back. He asks for his hat so Nick puts on the hat and dares Spencer to come and take it off him. They all talk up to him and prepare themselves for a showdown. Spencer says that she should stay with him until she finds a better place to live because he doesn't like Jess' friends. Nick begins to threaten Spencer when Jess says she has it under control. She tells Spencer that she is glad that he cheated on her so she didn't marry him. She tells him that she loves her friends and they tell him to guve the shirt back. Schmidt threatens him with well... Schmidt and slaps him round the face. Spencer finally takes off the shirt and Cece emerges with the rest of her stuff. Spencer retorts that he thought they were going  to sort this out like adults and she owns him by saying that she thought he was the love of her life "so suck it Mr. Crabs.".

Schmidt and Winston walk through with some of the stuff and Winston tells him he can keep the big room but Schmidtt insists on giving it to Winston. Nick and Jess, patch up the TV and everyone sits down to watch it when Nick asks what they are going to watch. Jess starts to list out names of DVDs and the guys say they are going out and leave. Schmidt returns and asks if they can watch Curly Sue.


  • Read the episode transcript here
  • After she walks out of Spencer's house towards the end of the episode, Jess can be seen toting two Vera Bradley duffel bags: one in the pattern "Happy Snails" (navy blue with yellow and red flowers) and one in the pattern "Safari Sunset" (pink, red and orange)
  • Lamorne Morris was added to the main cast for the rest of the series, starting with this episode.


no rain | BLIND MELON
save the best for last | VANESSA WILLIAMS
bust a move | YOUNG MC


Season 1Season 2

Pilot · Kryptonite · Wedding · Naked · Cece Crashes · Thanksgiving · Bells · Bad in Bed · The 23rd · The Story of the 50 · Jess & Julia · The Landlord · Valentine's Day · Bully · Injured · Control · Fancyman (Part 1) · Fancyman (Part 2) · Secrets · Normal · Kids · Tomatoes · Backslide · See Ya
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