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Exes is the 15th episode of the third season of New Girl, the 64th episode overall.

Synopsis

Jess tries to prove to Nick that exes can still be friends, by introducing him to her ex-boyfriend Berkley (Adam Brody). Caroline (Mary Elizabeth Ellis) returns, wanting an explanation from Nick for why he left her. Schmidt finally finishes decorating his new apartment, and then agrees to have Coach and Winston use it whenever they please.

Cast

Main

Special Guest Star

Guest Starring

Co-Starring

  • Jenni Melear as Lynn

Recap

Nick and Jess come into the loft carrying lots of bags and arguing because Nick knocked over a bunch of fruit. Winston tells them to shut up since he is trying to study for the LAPD entrance exam, then he asks about their many bags of fruit. Jess explains that Nick freaked out when he ran into Caroline at the farmers market. Nick says that exes are in the past and that "you burn 'em swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon." Jess defends being friends with exes, using Berkely as an example, to which Nick says that they are only friends because Berkley wants to have sex with Jess. Nick asks Wiston and Coach for backup and they both agree with him. Then Schmidt comes bursting in trying to get everyone to see his newly furnished loft.

Nick and Jess are talking in the bathroom about how Nick needs closure with Caroline. He says that Caroline is crazy and that she won't like the fact that he's with Jess now.

At the bar, Schmidt scares off a girl because his voice is hoarse from not talking to anybody all day. Cece sees this and comes over to see if she can help. She tells Schmidt that living alone is messing up his game and making him come off as very creepy. He says that he loves living alone, even though he's shown crying over grapes in a cutscene. Schmidt agrees, saying that his game could be upped by a little more human interaction.

Nick and Caroline get coffee and she starts asking Nick what happened.

Nick and Jess are walking by the apartment and she asks Nick how talking to Caroline went. Nick says it went great and Jess kisses him. This nice moment is interupted by Caroline crazily driving up and saying "You two are together!? I knew it! I knew it was her." Jess is suprrised because she thought Nick told Caroline they were together.

Back at the loft Jess doesn't understand how their relationship didn't come up because they talked for 30 minutes. It turned out though that Nick just sat there saying weird things the entire time. Caroline texts Nick accusing him of cheating, causing Jess to say that Nick should talk to Berkely about it. This confuses Nick, especially when he sees the text that Jess writes him. Nick says that Jess's text is leading Berkely on.

Winston and Coach come through saying that they are going to Schmidt's since he's been begging them to go all week.

Nick explains that all men want sex and that all men are sickos, even him. This is interrupted by another text from Caroline quoting scripture with a lot of swearing. Eventually, Nick agrees to meet Berkley to talk about Caroline.

At Schmidt's loft, Schmidt has bribed Coach and Winston to come over with a coupon for a free sub. Coach and Winston agree that Schmidt's place is pretty dope(despite that everything in the living room has a designated sex position) and Schmidt gives them both keys.

Berkley is over at the loft and he and Jess are joking around, which makes Nick a little jealous, so he awkwardly tries to get in on the joke. Then Caroline texts Nick again, and he says it's the scariest one yet. Jess explains the problem and Berkley makes a weird baby metaphor that confuses Nick. Berkley explains that the best way to handle it is to face Caroline and let her get it all off her chest. Nick says he did that, to which Jess disagrees, and then Berkley just continues to act like a weird hipster with his creepy laugh. Nick is very confused by their friendship, and Jess just says that it is the purest kind of friendship.

Nick attempts to text Caroline in a way that's "smooth, but tough." Berkley says that it isn't good and says another weird metaphor. Berkley being "deep" causes Nick to be insecure so disproves Berkley's metaphor and goes "Millered!"

At the bar, Schmidt is again trying to pick up girls, this time he's successful.

Back at the loft, Berkley runs up to Jess while she's doing dishes and says that he's going to leave his wife for her. Jess tries to explain that there has been a misunderstanding and even tries to spray him in the face with water when he tries to kiss her.

Schmidt runs into his loft where a random woman asks if he is "Schmidt's friend." Coach, pretending to be Schmidt, walks in and calls Schmidt Frank and awkwardly hugs him.

Berkley is listing out the reasons why he knows that Jess loves him and that she would make a great step mom. He even tells Jess that he loves her. From the other roo,m Nick groans and asks for help, so Jess has to tell Berkley that Nick was right but he can't know.

Nick ends up coming into the kitchen to where Jess and Berkley are saying that he doesn't know what to say to Caroline. Caroline ends up texting him "Come to the window, friend." Which gives Nick the wrong idea and is very happy when he goes to the window. When he looks out the window Caroline shouts at him and then beats up a car that she thinks is Nicks but it isn't.

Nick thinks that Caroline has cut the power but he just accidentally hit the switch. Berkley tells Jess to be brave but Jess is trying to get him to leave. Nick tells Berkley that he can stay since it isn't safe with Caroline downstairs.

Coach is taking the woman into Schmidt's room and tells her that he'll be there in a sec. Schmidt and Coach are arguing about who gets to have sex and Schmidt relents and says that he'll use the guest room. However, when he goes in Winston and Bertie are having sex.

Caroline and Schmidt's random girl go up together in the elevator.

Jess tells Nick she might've been wrong about Berkley, but Nick just says that the screaming stopped and that he knew she would run out of gas. Caroline then starts banging on the door screaming. Berkley encourages Nick to face Caroline and then whispers to Jess that they should go to a motel, to which Jess responds "I don't love you."

Berkley gets mad and Nick finally gets what's happening between Jess and Berkley. When Caroline continues to scream he just says "I'll be right with you, continue." Berkley just starts listing all the things that led him on for ten years.

Recurring Themes

Nick's borderline drinking problem

  • He says that he wishes his coffee was a giant beer and that his scone was whiskey
  • He immediately asks what kind of beer Berkley likes

Notes & Trivia

  • Schmidt gives Winston and Coach keys to his loft, Winston's looks like a guitar and Coach's has a rainbow kissing a star
  • This is Caroline's last episode

Photos

External Links



Season 2 Season 3 Season 4

All In · Nerd · Double Date · The Captain · The Box · Keaton · Coach · Menus · Longest Night Ever · Thanksgiving III · Clavado En Un Bar · Basketsball · Birthday · Prince · Exes · Sister · Sister II · Sister III · Fired Up · Mars Landing · Big News · Dance · Cruise
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